the concepts that I find unrealistic…
“You’re so tan, get some treatment and whiten it”, “You nose is really big but that’s okay because you can always have surgery later when you grow up”, “Why don’t you straighten your curly hair?”
Grow up as a Southeast Asian woman, I don’t understand the “beauty concept” of my own region. During my teen years, I heard a lot of phrases like the above mentions and sometime even worse, since I was young and have no idea how to response to those kind of judgement, I allowed myself to fall into trap of those beauty concepts. I straightened my natural curly hair twice during my high school years only to relived later that my hair became thinner and less healthy. I even used lotion and some other treatment in other to get “white”. No matter how much I tried, I still couldn’t live up to their standard of beauty and I was always an outcast with my tan skin (some people called it dark), curly hair, big nose and a not so beautiful face. Now, I relieved that those kind of concepts and standard were always toxic traits and unrealistic.
Now I am in my 20’s and as Asian beauty standard keep upgrading their idea on women beauty, I remain how I look and I just stop keeping up with what society have to say about my body because after all my worth aren’t neither what they see nor what they decided to judge
Slim, flat belly, white skin, straight hair, high nose, red tiny lip, double eyelid… are something that Asian society consider as “beautiful”. These concepts exist within Asian women's life as long as we know. Looking from surfaces, it may be just a scale to see beauty but this kind of standard affect Asian women’s self esteem, confidence and even their occupations. Skin and body become so important that it can shape women identity in society. Women with tan skin became less confident when they see someone who is whiter, a chubby lady doesn’t dare to wear her favorite clothe in order to avoid people eyes and so on. Many women face this kind of struggle and while some are living under pressure, other find surgery a better key to made her feel more comfortable with her look. Surgery is a personal choice but what happen beside that is what’s important. Plastic surgery industry usually use the standard of beauty as a kind of bait to attract their customers and those who already had one will likely have another surgery since they feel like it’s not yet “enough” to look like what they desire.
Social media, exaggerate commercials on skin care products, the overwhelming of white skin representative/influencers/celebrities can also made women feel even more insecure about their look. Living for twenty years in my country, I have seen tons of unauthorized skin care products come from sellers with no specialization on skin concern who just use wherever-they-get-it-from formula to make lotions or creams for skin whitening and sell it to customers for profit. When it come to clothing industry, what I have see are only people with judgmental look when they think the clothes doesn't look “suitable” with the one who wear it.
The problem doesn’t stop here. Mocking, body shaming, physical or cyber bullying, are happen literally everywhere. What worse is that most people, or even women themselves, find it okay to speak badly about someone skin or body and they even make unnecessary comments on how a woman should look like instead of praising her natural beauty. It seems like body shaming and outsider comments is normal things, which is indeed a toxic behavior. There are many times where I personally come across harsh comments on social media where people split out cruel judgement about beauty on someone’s post.
Women worth aren’t depend on the look she was born with, but the purity of her heart and what’s made her strong that matter the most
People have their own beauty and are pretty just they way they are, periodt. There is no such a thing as a “whole beauty package” which a women look perfectly fit with every standard the society require. The concept and standard of beauty different from region to region, from decade to another and how are women suppose to keep up with something so temporary that can change anytime?. White, tan or dark aren’t even matter, chubby or slim can’t prevent you from wearing tank top and fit in or not won’t determine your life. There are many things that are significant beyond the look of an individual and keeping up with the standard or not does not make them less worthy of themselves. If anything should be change, the mindset and concept of beauty itself that require consideration. Fortunately, now there are a lot of women fighting against the controversial Asian standards of beauty, believe in themselves and spread the positive mindset on natural beauty. As the concept still exist strongly in society, women in the 21st century are also on their way to change those kind of unnecessary idea on women look and instead inspire other to look at what matter beyond just face and body.
